Alicia's talking in third person. She must be crazy.

Alicia was happy enough to come home and see that there were three books waiting on the table for her, still wrapped in thick brown postage envelopes. One, to her suprise, was a DVD. She is excited to watch Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. She also received An Invisible Sign of My Own by Aimee Bender, hardback, a 23 dollar book that she found for 75 cents, and After the Fall by Edward Field. A good day maybe. She's sad to not be going to Disneyland today, even though she was invited, and her boyfriend's going for free. She's happy enough to go to zazenkai training. She will sit for ten hours and think or not think. Preferably not think. Meditation's about not thinking she hopes. She will remember what Gary Snyder said about the dharma being an avocado.

She is sad to be rejected from RipRap. She is sad that the RipRap editor for next year is already decided. She had been hoping since highschool... she tries not to think of that. Maybe she will give up on the MFA and write whatever she wants and not give a flying fuck about anyone. Maybe that will make her feel better. She looks around for her cat, doesn't find him, but sees Sawyer, her mom's white fluffy cat, sitting on the couch, eyes closed. She hears the mail box open and wonders if maybe she has another book or another rejection letter. She's sad that Mike is dead and that her family might have to leave the state in poverty. Poverty sucks, she thinks, and she's sad that it's not more eloquent. She's a writer, dammit.

She checks her mail. Junk. She knows she should probably finish reading Zen Meditation in Plain English. That's a good idea. Buksbazen makes her happy. And if she doesn't read it before tomorrow, she'll feel guilty, and she will be thinking of guilt, and it could possibly ruin everything.