Happy New Year! Yesterday I celebrated a late Chinese New Year in China Town with Omar and my dad's side of the family. Happy year of the ox. And that's appropriate, because before celebrating I went to Zen temple for a Jukai ceremony and took vows and learned more about yoking and oxen and zen. Ha. By the way, I'm not longer allowed to talk shit about anyone, so please keep me in check. I have vowed not to, and that is by far the hardest vow to keep. No more shit talking. I am allowed to swear, as I learned from Yoshin. The first experience I had with Yoshin was when someone came late and started talking about how she was sorry she was late and wasn't going to try and make up excuses. Yoshin said, "And thank you to Michelle for not boring us with your fucking excuses."
Badass. He reminds me of my grandpa who died earlier this year. In a lot of ways I'm not sure if I like him, but I sure as shit respect him. I think I'm going to try to write a nonfiction story about my dad and buddhism and all of that greatness. Also, when I go to Buddhist school and graduate, I'll get a cool Buddhist name like Yoshin, whose real name is Bill (which is my late grandfather's name), and I'm planning to add it to my pen name (as it is a legal name addition) in order to increase my googleability. IE: Alicia Masumi Adams or Alicia Soko Adams. Cool, right? Of course I am only sharing my shallow reasons here, but as soon as we find a new temple, I am going to Buddhist school. Woot! Except it's really expensive.
Of course, I wasn't even vegitarian once I left. Here's a list of all the things I ate:
Beef! ah!
Chicken feet
Tiny octupus- with brain, eyes, everything
shrimp
and lots of vegie stuff too, but I'm bad. The chicken feet weren't even all that good. They were okay. But anyway, take that Fadi. Eel? Eel is delicious. Be a man, try some chicken feet.
Anyway, I also vowed not to drink. We'll see how long that lasts. Technically I don't have to follow any of these until I graduate from Buddhist school. Sweet. But Omar, maybe you should at least attempt to drink less, because I totally saw you vow. I saw you! And heard. I'm not shit talking by the way. This doesn't count, does it? Shit! It's hard.
I love zen. I love it. I've been trying to write nonfiction, and all I've got is stupid shit I've done and people who have screwed me over and all of that same old shit shit shit. I'm tired of holding on to these things. I think I'm going to try to reach a little. We'll see.
Detector
1 day ago
3 comments:
Haha, sorry--you've broken a vow. Of course, it was even said that we'll break them. A lot. The point isn't whether or not you can stop yourself from breaking them, it's having something toward which to strive, an ideal--even Yoshin said that, as far as he's concerned, he doesn't live up to his Buddhist name. But he's trying. You're trying, your dad is trying, everyone is trying. That's the important part.
Now I'm going to pour myself a drink . . . .
It's so hard. Every time I start talking to someone, all this verbal shit comes pouring out of my mouth, and it's so hard to stop. I'm addicted. My hate keeps me warm, I guess. Anyway, at least now I know I have a problem. I'm going to really try to work this out. I mean, I'm happy right now. Why complain?
So, you had to go and spark up the rivalry again, did you? I'll get you, my pretty. And your little Octopus, too.
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